Ya gotta be brave to move forward

I just have a few words today. I feel like for the past five years I have felt unlike myself, Though I have had so many incredible moments of growth and immense happiness I just felt like something was missing. I think what i am realizing now is that I was missing. I was living in this place of purgatory. A place I thought I had to stay and all the while I thought I was courageous, really what I realize today is that it takes courage to change and shift and believe in so much more that you thought you could and I feel this incredible gratitude for my children who bring me tears of joy everyday. Tonight they spent 45 mins. straight wrestling and though my son who is the younger of the two children plays a bit wrough with his sister, I knew that they had no intension of hurting each other they were laughimng so hard they were crying. It was so amazing watching them and I thought to myself that mamas are the luckiest people on earth because we love with every fiber of our beings. WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN!!!!! In every moment of frustration when we want to cry or scream we are instantly humbled by our grattitude to hold this love to care and guide and be guided. Lasts nIght my daughter was reading a book to her little brother and the book was about a family who had a home birth. In the book there was a page that discribed how happy the big sister was when she realized that she had a litle brother to love and my daughter Hauna looked at her little brother and said "Teva this is how I felt when you were born", then she kissesd him and he said, "hauna, I love you". Oh my heart melts. So much is changing around me my hope is growing my beliefs are changing I am so ALIVE and GREATFUL!!!!!

We love our chickens too much to eat them!

Though I am aware of the fragility of all human kind, I can not help but to face the facts. If we humans take the path of main stream society we will be at the mercy of our government. The same government which has been in place since the seventeen hundreds. Though in those days the meaning of democracy was more of an entertained reality. These days we mutter the word "democracy" with out actually realizing that Americans do not live in a democracy and haven't ever lived in a democracy. I do believe that this is the intention of the people and with much personal deliberation we will attain democracy not by fighting for it but by living it, This is what Francis Moore lappe Calls a Living Democracy. A form of living where people take matters into their own hands. Each individual doing their part and through this we see large and powerful changes in social structures and economic foundations as a whole. This knowledge has inspired me to establish my very own resolution to live in a way that makes sense. Though I can't always justify my need to drive which I do, or pay a bill to xcel energy every month. Iknow I must do the best with what I have. So I made a list of actions I could take that would create some sustainability for my family and I.
One of the actions on this list was to have layer hens. We purchased twelve chicks, which my children where madly in love with and they just chirped away so sweetly for a while. I kept them in a very large rubber made bin for about two and a half month. Then they were ready to go out. I was really proud because I was dug a two foot deep trench that was about forty feet long in the snow because I really didn't want any of those sweet little ones to get munched by fox. My partner Riley had helped quite a bit and before long they were ready to be outside. Many months had passed and They began to lay eggs. These days we get about a dozen a day, wow that sure is a lot of eggs, we like to give them away! For some reason one always lays a gigantor of a beast of an egg, need to figure out which one and why??????? A question to be answered soon.
Thanks for reading!

Really cool poem Charlie Chaplin read on his 70th birthday:

Really cool poem Charlie Chaplin read on his 70th birthday:

As I began to love myself - Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
as I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it "RESPECT".

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it "Maturity".

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it "SIMPLICITY".

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations,
and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past
and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it. "FULFILLMENT".

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection "WISDOM OF THE HEART".

We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS "LIFE"!